Lordy, Lordy, Lordy...

I have my weigh in tommorow, I am really really nervous about it. I have been drinking cider and vodka every day since last thursday and even though I know how many calories are in alcohol, i still drank it like it is going out of fasion.


Thankyou for all of your lovely comments, sorry I can't put anything really very inspiring today, not that I really do anyway tbh.


I also found out I had an english exam this morning,(luckily I woke up early!)


It was on Romeo and Juliet, which because of lack of going to school, I have never read. YAY. I looked up on it when I got back at about 11.

I recon I gained this week,
I started eating again today.
Not much
I've eaten 78 calories
and worked off 600.
:/
Dunno, im going out for a bike ride.

Also, my laptop has been infected by like millions of viruses, I have to reset my entire laptop. Loosing everything, Pictures, Music etc. so I am sat on the main computer hoping that I remember to delete the history. If this gets found then I will probably just die.
This is a place where I write my personal thoughts, if anyone in my family decides to read this I am fucked.
My parents know that im mentally ill, They know about my tablets, My suicide attempts, My self-harm. But if they found out about Ana, That would probably be the last straw for them.

I hope that Ana will be with me tonight, I cant bear to gain. I would be so upset, I worked really hard this week, exercising before I go to bed, and after I wake up, Then in the day aswell [or night time, depending what time I wake up]

I feel like I need to do something with my life, I sit at home, go to school for an hour or so, then come home. Left to my own accord with only thoughts about Self Hatred and Ana.

Everythings just so quiet, I do jobs for my mum, Hang out the washing Blah Blah Blah. But i still feel like im sitting behind a chair, evaluating my life second by second. Seeing how FAT I am, How much I hate it. I feel it rolling over on my FAT belly, It folds in half when I sit down. :(

I just need something to revive me, Inspire me.

Sorry there is no thinspo, Didnt want to save it on my Dad's computer. :'(

From your Un-inspired, Quiet, Cut off Star xx