A cry for help...

I really need help. I cant keep on living anymore.

If I had just one wish I would wish to not be in this world anymore.

I have to admit to this.

I cut last night, first time in 4 months. gutted.

also, pigged my face with 6 big bars of chocolate and gained 3lbs :(

Im right back where I started.

Its time to start all over again and not listen to what anyone says.

I have to start restricting again, im failing.

500 calories a day for tommorow.
walk 4 miles.
100 push-ups
200 sit-ups
50 tricep dips
run on the tredmill for an hour non-stop.
Then go swimming.
Do 150 lengths before I even think about stopping. Then do more.

sounds like a plan thats already failed really.

But I will try.
Tonight my main focus is to still be alive tommorow morning.

They way im going last night, it isn't looking to promising.

Sorry im in such a bad mood, I love all of you so much xxxx

And sun-lit~ if your reading this then im really sorry I ruined our deal :(